Steam Shed News
T
ales from the Ex-Maritime Romney rodent!
21st July 2009 - Letter from the Romney Hut
Hello everybody,
Signal Post
Due to an altercation amongst the Civil's Squad, there was an unexpected occurrence due to the heated discussion as to the exact location of the signal post at Manuel. There was a difference of opinion as where it was to be positioned, our honourable leader having emphasised the point at where it was to be installed several times, said "do you want it in Black and White". Hey presto we now have a Black and White striped signal post. Something similar to the old bus stops. I wish to take this opportunity to point out that the colour scheme of the Signal Post has nothing to do with the fact that Graham Scott is in mourning for Newcastle's recent performance, at their favourite sport. Behold the new signal post, all in Black and White, in photograph below.
A proper works train
Photograph by David Heath
Expiry dates on season tickets.
It has come to my attention that there have been instances where the on board revenue protection team have refused to accept a Life Membership ticket. The reason given to the disgruntled ticket holder, was that there is no expiry date on it. The guard in question may have direct contact with the almighty and suspected the ticket holder was possibly a ghost. You must admit these guards are very thorough.
There they were all keen and smart
In and out of the engines they did dart
Engine ready gleaming and clean
all prepared, in public to be seen
Number one in red and Blue,
was on the train when it was due,
But the attaching link was big and heavy,
A lighter one would be made ready.
Messrs Johnston and Clarke
searched deep in the dark
of the running shed pit
to find a bit that would fit
Lo and behold to their surprise
a suitable lump of metal did arise.
A link with a double screw,
"By jove Neelie this will do."
They clean it up with oil and rag
main pin and split pin in the bag
Poised like pit staff, Formula one
before you can blink the'll have it done.
Engine returns from duty of traction,
Team Clarke & Johnston swing into action
Their purpose determined new one, no mess
old one off now lying in the cess.
Alas alack this is now the bitter bit,
The new one to go does not fit,
All this happening in the pouring rain
had to put the old link, on again.
Parrot fashion
While many observers stop and look at the Civil's labouring away on the track, some pass comment some are local urchins with wise cracks that are generally old hat, but always impertinent. Lo and behold a gentlemen with a parrot on his shoulder stopped and gave words of encouragement. Our Honourable Chairman asked if pretty polly would care to join the Civil's group. The reply would not add much to this report, particularly after the creature emptied the contacts of its bowels down the back of its owner. But it does allow one to recall the role that parrots played in railway history.
Many years ago the shed foreman at Eastfield had a parrot in his office which as most parrots do, imitated the shed foreman's North Glasgow accent faultlessly. Quite often the Coal distribution manager for the LNER would call up and ask how much coal was required for the next two weeks and equally as often the foreman was caught on the hop and would nip out to the coal ree to check how much was required. The parrot developed the habit of answering into the hand set lying on the desk, with a quantity far in excess of what was needed. Having done so and proud of its achievement, the parrot then perched up on the receiver rest, thus effectively ending the call. In the hubbub of a busy shed the foreman forgot all about the call until several long trains arrived with the duly ordered coal. This situation happened more than once until letters started arriving from LNER Headquarters asking Glasgow operations why they were needing so much coal, without the expected increase in revenue. The foreman eventually realised what had been happening, having caught the Parrot in the act one day. He was not best pleased and grabbed the parrot and threatened it with an early demise, but relented and threw it under one the side benches in the office. As misfortune would have it, the Duty Eastfield cat was in the vicinity at the time and it was kicked under the side benches also, coming to rest against the frightened Parrot. The Parrot looked at the cat and said, How many tons of coal did you order.
Foxed
There is concern that the fox population in the yard at Bo'ness is growing fast. Such has been the case since I and my Cousin Pothlewaite, stopped having fox hunts in the Romney Hut. This situation will have to be reconsidered. Meanwhile I do suggest that the model railway crowd chase them out from under the Norwegian Coaches. We'll deal with them later, the foxes I mean.
Bye for now,
Shaper Mouse
Copyright SRPS 2009©