Steam Shed News
T
ales from the Ex-Maritime Romney rodent!
29th August 2009 - Letter from the Romney Hut
Hello everybody,
26th August 2009
Black and White.
While black and white signal posts featured in my last letter, the other matter concerning things black and white is the bloody cat that seems to wander around the site with impyoonity. This beast will have to be removed, thrown out, or evicted, no matter what. When one considers this and the increase in Fox population, the railway is being over run by vermin. Time they were all stamped out.
It is all in a Name.
I notice in the national press that according to a crowd of head hunters, there appears to be a trend in the more popular names for those taking senior positions in industry to have come from the bible. David appears to be the most common, closely followed by John, Paul and Peter. Jacobs, seem to have fallen by the wayside. But what is notable is that, particularly for Monty Python fans, the name Brian is taking its place amongst Chief Executives. It therefore may mean that our Mr Brian Williams may be chosen for greater things, of course we must not forget the Thane of Morayshire, Ol'Da to those in the know, who may be in the frame for the Chief Executives position in one of our leading finance houses. There will be a tight rein in that outfit then?
Twinkle toes is no weel.
Head of Toffee (Trading Operational Financial Failure Evaluation Executive ) Is going about like a demented hen, since Twinkle Toes was taken into dry dock. He has nobody to blame, nobody to accuse, nobody to stitch up and nobody to build a false case around. Something will have to happen soon, or Head of Toffee will have seizure of some kind. But there again he is always having seizures.
Something Catching.
It has been reported that many frequent global and national travellers are choosing to use forms of transport that involve fewer numbers per vehicle. Their concern is that to mix with too many of the world's riff raff, at any one time, places them at risk to catch Swine Flu. This choice of alternative conveyance can be a private jet or limousine, therefore, is the preserve of the wealthy. Our railtour company has taken heed of the situation and it is reported that only those who appear to fit the wealth parameters are to be allowed to book First Class. All others, infected or not, will be squeezed into Second Class coaches and the Guard's Van. No pigs in First Class appears to be the policy. Nice of the well heeled to show such consideration.
Pit for Bath.
The in house research and development team, have been given the task of finding a better and less time consuming way of cleaning the Wheels and Side Frames of Locomotives. Their efforts have come up with a plan that can only be described as visionary. The main crux of which is to widen the pit at the water tower and lay the railway lines along the bottom of the pit. Then when the need arose to clean an Engine one just fills the pit with a detergent and water mix. After running the engine through the pit a few times, hey presto, a clean engine. Is it not good that some people are thinking on the railway. What Mr R Hill has to say on this matter has not been reported.
Hat scraper.
The same team have also designed a novel way of cleaning the driver's and firemen's grease top hats. This has been achieved and put into practise on Bo'ness platform, in the way that the flower baskets are hung. Their guinea pig for the introduction of this facility was none other than Leading Driver Mr J. Leggat. Mr Leggat (JAL to others) demonstrated the usefulness of the invention, by walking under the aforementioned baskets, and allowing the hanging fronds scrape his hat clean. It will be found that this invention only satisfies the need, if you are a short arse, like Mr Leggat.
Suck Squeeze Bang Blow Machines.
Congratulations to Mr Tony Dance in becoming a passed out Driver of Diesel Engines.
Bye for now,
Shaper Mouse
Copyright SRPS 2009©